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Hey Bestie: Should I have sex with someone who chooses not to get the COVID-19 vaccine?

Updated: Mar 18

Hey Bestie: I strongly believe in vaccination but I’m talking to a couple of guys on dating apps who are not planning to get the COVID jab, is it fair for me to insist that they get vaccinated before we date?

I figured that eventually this question would come up as living in times of COVID has been our ‘new normal’ for more than 18 months and will continue to be so moving forward into the future.

So, let’s be clear – although ultimately it is your decision about who you choose to consensually sleep with, it is worthwhile to make sure that you understand the research and evidence that has been shared by medical professionals around the topic of sexual activity and COVID.

The way in which the world is currently travelling, there are various areas of life which will be limited to those without the vaccine - from work to travel to concerts and plenty in between.

So, what we do know is that although there is no known evidence that COVID-19 can be spread through vaginal or seminal fluids, it can however be spread through faecal matter.

Both the Mayo Clinic and the United Nations (UN) have warned that all close contact with an infected person can expose you to COVID-19.

"It might not be worth it."

Some health organisations have recommended not kissing, wearing a face mask and favouring positions where you are not face-to-face to avoid transmission of the virus.

I feel as though the logistics of this might become cumbersome for people to truly follow through with.

The reality is that people have a choice as to whether or not they get vaccinated and you too have a choice as to whether or not you date people who are unvaccinated.

What I do know as a relationship educator is that people develop relationships based on similar morals and values.

You need to decide whether the position to remain unvaccinated is a deal-breaker for you in the long run and how that decision might ultimately impact on your relationships (for example the ability to travel together).

If having a relationship with an unvaccinated person worries you enough, then it might not be worth it.

It’s important to remember that your best sexual partner is yourself. Understand the science, understand the risks and ultimately, be true to yourself. After all, everyone deserves to have great sex.

Your bestie,

Amanda xx

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