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Hey Bestie: How to turn late night booty calls into a relationship?

Do you have a question you’ve been too afraid to ask about your relationship or sex life?


From whether to worry about your other half’s ‘alone time’, to what to do if your partner wants a threesome, to how to achieve an orgasm – sexologist and relationship coach Amanda Lambros will give you the frank and thorough answers to help you sleep at night.


Hey Bestie: I met a man I really like on a night out a few weeks ago and the sex is great, but the only time he wants to catch up is for late night booty calls. How do I turn casual hook ups into a proper relationship, or is it doomed?



Firstly, so glad to hear that the sex is great!


Some argue that the sex is better during casual hook-ups because the expectations are lower: there’s little-to-no performance anxiety, and you are focused on the pleasure and fun of the experience rather than where it may lead emotionally.


Others argue that casual hook-ups can be cold, emotionless and sometimes too quick.


You may have been initially looking for casual and fun but now that you are having great sex, you might be connecting on an emotional level and wanting to connect in a relationship.


Physically connecting typically occurs during a hook-up, not emotionally connecting. When the emotions become activated, that’s when the brain edges more towards wanting a relationship.


In a relationship, you can create a deep connection with a person, which can lead to love. And when you're staring deep into the eyes of someone you love, you'll be amazed at how intense and even better the sex becomes.


The best way to find out if he is interested in shifting from casual to relationship is simple ... ask!


You might be thinking “Hey Bestie, this is easier said than done!” However, the sooner you ask, the sooner you will know.


He might be comfortable with the casual late night booty call, where his needs are fulfilled, without any drama or long-term commitments.


He might, on the other hand, be wanting a relationship but be reluctant to ask you (just like you are reluctant to ask him).


Let’s just say that asking — rather than keeping the thoughts in your head — is the first step towards good communication, which is needed for great relationships.


When you're in a relationship with someone, your pleasure is as much a priority as theirs. The opportunity for sex is there whenever you want, however you want, and for as long as you want – not just a late night booty call.


In all seriousness, if you are looking for a long-term partner, don’t go searching for casual and if you are currently casual and are looking for long-term, ask.


After all, everyone deserves to have great sex.


Your bestie,

Amanda xx


Published August 20, 2021 on https://www.perthnow.com.au/lifestyle/relationships/hey-bestie-how-to-turn-late-night-booty-calls-into-a-relationship-ng-b881974796z

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