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Hey Bestie: How much masturbation is too much?

Updated: Mar 18

Hey Bestie: How much masturbation is too much? I’m a single guy and I find I need to ‘fly solo’ a couple of times a day, is that normal?

Masturbation is a normal and natural sexual behaviour which has even been observed in-utero and documented via sonographic observation by Dr. Meizner back in 1987. Also known as self-gratification – it has numerous psychological and health benefits. This response applies to both men and women who are engaging in self-gratification.

Much like many other sexual activities, the more you engage in the activity, the more the brain wants the activity.

The brain experiences what is known as a ‘pleasurable effect’ and releases amazing mood enhancing hormones such as dopamine, oxytocin, and cortisol – all hormones which assist with regulation and maintenance of your immune system.

You do need to be aware of whether your masturbation is ‘excessive’ or not. If you are experiencing irritation, redness, swelling or even raw and chapped skin – these are a few of the signs that it might be excessive. Please make sure that you are using a good quality lubrication to avoid some of the irritation that might occur.

Excessive masturbation can develop into a diagnosable addiction – although it is a controversial diagnosis. It is deemed to be an addiction when you can ‘no longer suppress the psychological urge to masturbate and consequently engage in the behaviour’. Basically, if self-gratification is having significant impacts on your daily functioning, then it’s probably time to talk to a professional about it.

A few red flags to pay attention to when it comes to the frequency of masturbation. If your masturbation is:

  • Getting in the way of you taking care of yourself

  • Getting in the way of you being able to be at work

  • Getting in the way of you being able to find a sexual partner

  • Getting in the way of you having sexual relations with your current partner

  • Taking up a lot of your time or energy

  • Occurring in public spaces because you simply can’t wait to get home

  • Occupying your thoughts more than anything else

This list is just a few of the red flags... but you get the point... if the thoughts and actions of self-gratification are taking over your life, then it’s most likely considered to be excessive.

Masturbation is a healthy sexual release.

Is there an ‘ideal’ or ‘perfect’ number for how many times you should masturbate each day, week or year? The simple answer is no. If you do have a partner and it’s causing a rift within the relationship, that’s another reason to seek help and talk to someone about the issues that it is causing because after all, everyone deserves to enjoy self-gratification without it negatively impacting you, your life or others.

Your bestie,

Amanda xx

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