Hey Bestie: What's the best way to ask someone to be a 'friend with benefits'?
- Amanda Lambros
- Sep 20, 2021
- 2 min read
Updated: Mar 18, 2024
Hey Bestie: What's the best way to ask someone to be a 'friend with benefits'? I just don't have the time for a proper relationship right now but I miss sex and I'm not keen on one night stands. I have a friend who I'd love to ask but I just don't know how to start the conversation. Also, do you have any advice about what the ground rules should be?

So, what I am hearing is that sex is great and relationships take time and effort…correct! It also sounds like for whatever reasons, at the moment, the effort required for a relationship is just simply not available to you. Which, let me tell you, I’m really happy that you acknowledge rather than jump from relationship to relationship that you are not ready to invest in at the moment.
Before starting this conversation with your friend, you need to know whether or not there’s any mutual sexual interest – is the friend as interested in you, as you are them? Is the friend available? Would the friend be open to the concept of friends with benefits? Is this friend likely to get emotionally attached? (If so, you might want to find someone else, especially if you are attempting to stay away from relationships).
If you approach your friend without knowing the above and the friend does not feel the same way about you, you might land in an uncomfortable situation. When you are clear about your expectations for the casual nature of what you are looking for, you can then suggest casual sex with a friend, especially one that you’ve been flirting with.
Finally, I’m so glad that you asked about ‘ground rules’ because this is one of the most fundamental aspects of ‘friends with benefits’ that should be discussed that is often overlooked and what ultimately leads to this situation being less than successful.
Some of the ground rules should include whether the both of you are sticking to a single partner, or whether you can have multiple friends with benefits.
Discuss whether there are specific days/times, etc that are off limits, and discuss whether you are allowed to discuss the arrangements with other friends or whether this is meant to be a ‘on the hush’ kind of situation.
Please realise that this is not an exhaustive list and there’s plenty more in the realm of ground rules that could be discussed.
One of the best things that you can do is be clear with what you are looking for, and if you think your friend might feel the same, be honest while also being open to the fact that they might not be interested. Good luck!
After all, everyone deserves to have great sex.
Your bestie,
Amanda xx
If there's a case of suspected infidelity going on in your marriage and you intend to gain some tangible evidence to confront your cheating spouse, this software genius hacker at 'hackingloop6@gmail.com, might be the best tech expert to assist you. The genius can help you install software Spy-app to gain remote access to your partner's phone and monitor their day to day activities. The genius can also provide ongoing tech support and help with further services like changing of school grade, hacking into Database server, Recovering of lost funds(crypto) from any online fraudulent trading platforms, keeping tabs on your kids and employees, and many more. Most customers recommended his service on Reddit, I gave in to his service and he…
Great insights, Amanda! Open communication and clear ground rules truly are essential for a friends-with-benefits setup. It’s similar in my line of work as a Florida public insurance adjuster—setting expectations upfront prevents misunderstandings down the road. Whether it’s relationships or insurance claims, honesty and clarity always lead to better outcomes for everyone involved!
Make sure you're familiar with the Frontier Airlines JFK Terminal, the dedicated terminal where all Frontier flights depart and arrive at John F. Kennedy International Airport. This terminal is designed to make your travel experience smooth and hassle-free, with helpful staff, clear signs, and essential services like check-in counters, security screening, and waiting areas. To ensure everything goes smoothly, arrive a bit early, and have your ID and boarding pass ready. With good planning and the right information about the Frontier Airlines JFK Terminal, your trip can get off to a great start.
I found this post to be incredibly useful! Your advice is always practical and easy to apply—exactly what readers need. For those exploring Chennai, connecting with foreign escorts in Chennai can offer a unique cultural experience. Also, if safety and discretion are priorities, Guindy elite escort girls provide trusted companionship. Thanks for sharing such valuable insights!
Stay cozy and stylish with the Port Authority BP60, a premium core fleece blanket perfect for promotional events, corporate gifts, or personal use. Crafted from soft, durable fleece, this blanket provides exceptional warmth and comfort whether indoors or outdoors. Its generous size makes it ideal for picnics, stadium games, or relaxing at home. The Port Authority BP60 features reinforced stitching for long-lasting use and a smooth surface that’s perfect for embroidery or screen printing your custom logo. Available in a variety of vibrant colors to complement any brand or style. ApparelnBags offers bulk pricing, fast shipping, and low minimums to simplify your ordering process. This fleece blanket is a versatile and practical promotional item that recipients will appreciate year-round. Perfect…