Hey Bestie: My husband is jealous of my “work husband”, what should I do? He says it’s “emotional cheating” but we really are just friends who spend a lot of time together at work.
You’d be surprised if I told you how many times I’ve heard a scenario like this — regardless of if it’s the “work husband” or “work wife”.
Work relationships are tricky without the added layer of a potentially jealous partner.
We spend a great deal of time with work colleagues and if your role requires you to be at various functions together and work closely on projects, it could cause some friction in your relationship if left unchecked.
It’s important to recognise that jealousy does not simply magically appear in a relationship.
There’s a reason that an underlying level of jealousy might bubble to the surface — it could stem from a previous relationship or your current partner not feeling as close and connected as you once were.
If you or your partners emotional and physical needs are not being met by each other, that could become the reason and an opportunity to look elsewhere — which is what you want to avoid.
One of the best things that you can do is to settle your partners fears and set boundaries at the office.
Be thoughtful of how your partner is feeling and try to see the scenario from their perspective.
Clear boundaries set from early on and maintained — i.e. a professional work relationship — is key.
A great boundary to set is that work is work and home is home.
Try not to vent about “home life” to your work colleagues. If a work colleague wanted to exploit your home situation to their advantage, they easily could based on conversations that you may have shared.
Be mindful of not crossing any physical boundaries — pats on the back, hands on the shoulders, etc.
Red flag moment: If you notice that you are wanting to spend more time with your “work partner” over your current partner … there’s probably a reason — which would indicate that your relationship might benefit from talking to a professional.
If you notice that boundaries are being blurred, make sure to rectify this sooner rather than later.
Even though work relationships can be tricky, they can also be amazingly supportive and positive.
Imagine that, having two supportive people in your life — one that helps you navigate work life and the other that helps navigate home life.
Knowing that you are going home to a loving and supportive partner to build a great relationship together is always something to look forward to while you are at work.
After all, everyone deserves to have support and a great relationship.
Your bestie,
Amanda xx