HEY BESTIE: My partner’s snoring is driving me crazy. Is it OK to kick them out of bed so I can get a goodnight’s sleep?
A large portion of my clients are affected by this exact thing.
Snoring can have a major impact on a couples sex life… especially if you are looking at kicking your partner into another bed.
This is called a “Sleep Divorce” … yep … there’s even a term for it!
Although most people make a joke about snoring, when it comes to your relationship, it’s no joke at all.
Snoring can be annoying and can also be a warning sign of something much more serious that requires medical attention.
Yep, it could be sleep apnea and it would be worthwhile speaking to your family doctor sooner rather than later. The doctor might make simple lifestyle suggestions or the solutions might be a lot more involved.
Snoring affects both men and women. It is important to recognise that what causes snoring in women is a little bit different to what typically causes snoring in men.
For women, this might include:
Age – the older you are, the more likely you are to snore… especially after 30!
Menopause – reduces the muscle tone in your throat… boom… snoring!
Weight – which can fluctuate throughout life but when there’s excess fat build up in the neck, it can obstruct your airway.
Pregnancy – think trifecta… weight gain, blood vessels in the nasal cavity expand and a different sleeping position.
For men, the difference is anatomy… yep, larger throats, larger area for vibration (snoring).
Also, men carry more weight in their chest, thorax and neck so any weight gain might increase the weight in those areas and lead to more snoring.
There’s also more that might contribute to snoring:
Use of sedatives.
Sleeping on your back.
Allergies, colds and flu
Deviated septum or nasal injuries.
The reason that snoring impacts relationships is because it causes sleepiness and fatigue – for both partners. The less sleep you have, the more likely you are to be moody. The moodier you are, the less unpleasant you are to each other.
It’s a vicious cycle!
In roughly 45 per cent of couples, partners make a choice to sleep in different rooms to attempt to get “a good nights’ sleep”, further damaging the ability to connect with one another on an intimate level.
Snoring and sleep apnea are very treatable. Snoring leads to reduced blood flow, a decrease in the oxygen in the blood, which can cause erectile dysfunction, a decreased libido and can lead to further sexual dysfunction.
On top of that, it increases your risk of serious health issues such as heart attack, stroke, diabetes, weight gain, etc.
Rather than kicking your partner into a different room, kick them into a GP office for some tests.
If you are simply getting a sleep divorce, you are ignoring the fact that this might be something serious that requires attention rather than noise cancelling headphones.
Your role as partners is to look out for one another, care for each other and talk to each other because after all, your partner’s health is important to the relationship and so is a good night’s sleep.